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Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Tranquilo



So I must admit I had a bit of a meltdown the other day.  As I was walking around the apartment cleaning and doing the dishes, I realized what my life had turned in to.  I am a house wife.  The thought of that just killed me.  Where doing the laundry was once something I had to find time to do, it is now what I do.  Period.  And that's only fair because Oscar is at work all day and it'd just be lazy to not clean up a bit.  Especially since he did the exact thing for me while I was working in the USA.  But he is more of a homebody and I'm more restless.  So even though this arrangement sat quite well with him in the States, it is slowly driving me mad here.  And I've only been here for 2 weeks!

Because the apartment is small, it doesn't take long to clean up.  So I find myself spending hours and hours just bumming around on the internet.  Looking for blogs to read or forums to be rude on.  I'm certainly not sitting around and saying "woe is me", I am actively trying to find things for myself to do.  I applied to two more jobs just the other day, and continue to look for classes, courses, anything.  The problem I am encountering is that most classes are in the evening, since people my age have jobs during the day.  It is also proving difficult to find a job that will sponsor me for a work visa.  Finally, websites in Costa Rica are not up to the standards of the USA.  If there even are websites, they are mostly outdated or with incorrect information.  In order to find out about something you need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy.  I'm really hoping that the school where I originally applied to teach, will have something open up in January for me.  But only time will tell.

So my meltdown lasted a few hours where I felt like I was getting nothing accomplished.  But today I've been feeling better.  Taking Perlita on walks in the morning is something I really enjoy.  I say hello to my Cuban neighbors, then wave to the security guard across the street.  Next, the gardener down the street will pet Perlita and dance with her while talking very quickly.  Once we make it to the park, I'll let Perlita off the leash and she'll chase some birds through the high grass that is only seldom cut.  We run on the way back, just to tire her out a little more.  Then I settle down with my computer and put off washing the dishes from the night before.  I alternate cleaning, interneting and napping throughout the day until Oscar comes home.

I think I might be accepting that this is how my life is for right now.  And you know what?  Even though it's different, slow and taking some getting-used-to, it's muy tranquilo.

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