Let me be honest, there's not a lot of things in which I excel. I'm not a great athlete, not a great artist (okay a BAD artist), not a genius. I'm just sort of mediocre. Which I'm cool with, I live a very happy life being mediocre. Mediocrity is totally underrated.
But there's at least one thing I'm really good at- being a teacher.
I'm only in my 3rd year of teaching so of course I have tons and TONS to learn, but I feel like for a third year teacher, I'm doing a pretty banging job. I'm great with classroom management (aka- keeping those brats quiet and orderly), I'm great with building relationships with the kids (in my own sarcastic way), I'm totally cool with asking questions when I don't know what to do, and I know and love my content area- biology.
And I'm proud to be a good teacher. I went into education not because of some inspiring teacher I had who made me want to be better. No. I went into education because I remember sitting in classes thinking "I could do better than this" And so I did. I wanted to be a teacher so maybe the kids would have one less sucky ass teacher to deal with every day at school.
But now I've become the sucky ass teacher. In English.
I told my director I didn't want to do it, I didn't feel comfortable, and I had no experience. It didn't matter. I've been teaching English for about a month now and I'm just freaking terrible at it. Part of it is because I have no idea what I'm doing and part of it is because I find it so freaking boring I can barely stand it. I feel like a failure and I hate that I'm letting myself and the kids down.
In my biology and even dopey little kid science classes I have so much more enthusiasm, so much more energy, so many awesome projects and experiments. English is like "let's read this boring-ass two page story and try to make it into a full 80 minute class somehow..."
So I've made an executive decision to read a book as a class. I'm going to pick stories I want to read and we're going to analyze them. I think this will help because the stories in the textbook are so short and so boring and so awful... I can easily go over parts of figurative speech, grammar, etc while reading an awesome story. Instead of a POS about some blind guy in a tower. I'm going to start with some Kurt Vonnegut for the hell of it, and then go into Edgar Allan Poe because he's a nut job and that's always fun. The kids seem to think they're up for Shakespeare but I sort of doubt it. I might give them a list of books and they can pick one next Monday. Then I'll have about 3 weeks to re-read (or read!) it before we actually start discussing it in the classroom.
I hope I get better. I hate being the boring class.
Props to Project Gutenberg for providing me with so many free online books and stories to choose from!